Being an introvert, I can get too much people, activity, and busyness in my life. I am a wall flower, I wear that badge, even a homebody.
In May of this year, we will celebrate 38 years of wedded wildness. And it has been a wild ride, racing from one activity to another. When our children were young, I was known to lament that I wanted the merry-go-round to stop so I could get off! I found myself feeling that way again a few weeks back. And so, I decided-to get off. We are all adults. Take care of yourself. Moms not available. I wish it was that simple.
Nonetheless, I have been sneaking in quiet times for reflection. And so far, my recalibration has been going pretty well. I have learned I can stop this merry-go-round whenever I need to; I can take a pass on some activities, stay home alone, and be better for it.
Starting with the mornings, try to slow down and breathe.
And I have learned more about myself, like how much I like a schedule. And I want to keep the schedule, thank you just the same. I had to explain this to Mr. B. We had a fair exchange of information; I learned new things too.
Maybe you are also feeling the need to step back and find yourself again. We non-ADHD-ers can be exhausted by the sheer force of energy exuding from our hyperactive loved one(s).
Honor yourself! Don’t wait for someone else to notice you need a rest. Go ahead and trot your tired self off for a much-needed quiet time.
It is vital to stay true to ourselves. We can only run so far in daily life on someone else’s music. At first, it’s a novelty and even fun. But then, the fun starts wearing off, and we start to flat-line because we aren’t getting what we need to live happily. Life is full of give and take. No one gets to have it all. We need to remind each other that it’s okay to pull back, take a break, take a nap!
And it might be time to reassess how much of an activity has to be done today. How small can you break a task down? I mean how small can you make it and still know you accomplished something? For instance, I am cleaning out the fridge. This week I cleaned the inside of the fridge door, wiped the bottles, wiped the shelving, checked dates and tossed a 4-year-old bottle of lemon juice. How? How does this stuff get forgotten? Life, that’s how.
Life happens at the speed of, well, life. There are real seasons of life when cleaning the fridge isn’t a high priority. Those seasons when cleaning the fridge means wiping up spills when they happen. Done. Over it. And we move on.
Move in the season of life you are in. I promise you it will not always be like this. Our children grow up. Our bodies change. Our work life changes. Life rolls on. Everything changes. And we are doing really good if we can realize the season is changing and start working into that new way of living.
I’m cheering you on. You do you. Me do me. And shine brightly in your world. Even as introverts we can shine brightly. I inherited a really nice smile from my mom, my grandmother, and so on. I’m happy to share it. That’s me shining brightly. I have a sister who has a really sweet laugh, it’s a joyful laugh, she shares it lavishly. That’s her shining brightly. You do you!
Where do you find your worth? In what you do? Where you live? Or who you know- here on earth? That is not where I find mine.
Late 2024 I picked up on a ripple of buzz. You’ve heard of the Fruits of the Spirit? In Galatians 5:22-23 is where Paul writes about the goodness of life. Earlier in the chapter he lists out the evils and sins of life. Paul is strongly encouraging the Christians in Galatia to “Walk in the Spirit” so as not to wallow in the lust of the flesh.
Paul says to get your heart right with God and you will see freedom from your fleshly desires. Then Paul reminds them that he told them before that if they choose to walk in sin they will not inherit the Kingdom of God. And then, to be extra sure that Galatia got his message, Paul list the Fruits of the Spirit. Verse 22 & 23:
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24:And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with [it’s] affections and lusts
25: If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26: Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
I always read this passage as through my own works I could produce joy, peace, and love, and be longsuffering and meek.
Wait a minute. If I believe the salvation from Jesus Christ is a free gift, I can offer nothing worthy of it. I cannot work for the approval of salvation. Then how do I work for the fruits of the Spirit?
This is where the ripple comes in. I heard the suggestion that the fruits of the Spirit are not gained by our devotion, our piousness’, our efforts or strivings. BUT the fruits of the Spirit are developed by the Spirit as we turn our walk to be walking closer with Jesus.
Paul says in verse 18: But if you be led of the Spirit, you are not under the law.
That’s it! Right there. When Jesus died on the cross He cancelled the law. Grace was born. Forgiveness was come. New Life was offered. And that is the way we are to walk, even today. Walk with grace and forgiveness in this new life.
And so, I believe, our worth isn’t to be found in our profession. Our worth is found in how we do what ever it is we do. When we wrap our heads around the goodness of God. When we accept that life is completely dependent on Him. Just as salvation is completely dependent on the blood of Jesus Christ. Then we can begin to loosen our grip, and let God work through us to do his good work.
What can you do this week to walk closer to Jesus?
I have found a podcast called – Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast. I found it on Spotify. This podcast is reminding me of all the things about Mr. B I had forgotten! Good or Bad? Remember I said forgiveness is needed when you live with an ADHD person?
Hence, I carry 2 weapons with me every day; forgiveness is one and grace is the second. lf I ever feel stingy with either one of these, my Heavenly Father is right there ready to remind me of my own short comings. Besides, I’m truly in love with Mr. B. He’s my best friend, my lover, my companion in life. And Mr. B feels the same way toward me. We get each other. And we both know I don’t behave well when I am short on sleep, hungry, or stressed. So, this forgiveness and grace works both ways.
I’m picking up this word in podcasts & emails – Normal, as in a normal week when I can get it all done. Or a normal week when life slows down. Sorry! Say what?? I am far away from my school days, but we learned this is euphoria and it is not real life.
So, have we labeled normal incorrectly? Let’s go back to the beginning and think again.
Normal means
(from the online webster dictionary):
as an adjective – that’s a descriptive word – it means to conform to a standard (sounds scary), the usual, typical or expected
as a noun – that’s a person, place or thing – it means the usual, average, or typical state of condition.
But are you picking up a theme here? I am! Normal is what we expect to happen. It is the typical state of our week, the day in, day out of living. At any rate, our dream of a “perfect week” is often far from the normal week.
For me, consequently, the perfect day or week would be a large absence of my ADHD family, they would appear in small, controlled amounts of time. They would behave perfectly with no outburst of any type. I would have large swaths of time in which to accomplish great endeavors of creativity in my chosen talent. This is not my life, it’s a dream, it’s not normal!
For me the perfect day or week would be a large absence of my ADHD family, lol! Then it wouldn’t be my life!
I love my normal life
Undoubtedly, my normal week is being tossed from one activity, to the next; to the next; to the next; until I fall down from exhaustion. Quiet is a lost commodity in my normal days. Another key point, as a newlywed 21-year-old I was very happy with my normal, a quiet week filled with work, quiet evening activities, and sleep. To say the least, marrying a man with ADHD was eye opening. I fought hard to keep my “Normal”, much to my husband’s chagrin.
It was a very hard fight to give up a little of my “Normal” for a little bit of his “Normal”. Additionally, being an introvert added to my misery. Then we had children. The first was a dream; slept all the time. And the second was fussy; always cold. And then the third one we lost; so, all the sadness. Finally, the fourth; was the baby in every sense of the word. In our busy, fast-moving world, I found myself, often without enough down time to process even a little of life as we knew it
But through all the upheaval, excitement, learning and growing I began to piece together some anchors in my day. They were like islands of sanity, with space to breathe, and time to collect my thoughts. Early on it was lunch & naptime. Lunch provided the slowdown before naptime. Naptime was a part of our day for 20 years. After all, even my teenage children needed the break in their day, just as much as I did!
Action!
What does your normal look like? Are you good with it? Or do you need to tweak it?
Take a long minute to think about what’s bugging you, what you can change, what you would love to do differently.
Pray about it! Avail yourself of Jesus’ comfort and love. Ask Him to help and He will change your life.
At the beginning, or the end, of each month I do a precursory plan for the month ahead. I simply add birthdays, business deadlines, and holidays we celebrate on a monthly calendar page I create on Canva. And this page becomes the cover of my planner binder.
Planning with ADHD is very hard. It’s hard to nail down those thoughts. Or sort them out from all the others racing around. We rely a lot more on routines and habits than plans. My goal with the monthly calendar is to remind me of what’s ahead, so I don’t forget something important. Like a sister’s birthday! This is a bigger chore for me than them since I am the youngest.
No year planning
I don’t go into planning my year either. For the same reasons, ADHD. One year I tried to plan by the quarters. So, I said to Mr. Wonderful, “we have a cool weather quarter here, what do we want to get done?” So, we brainstormed and came up with a page long list of tasks and projects. And we picked the most urgent & important item on the list and dug in. Three months later we were still working on that one project. Mind you, we took it as far as we could. But that was all we got done. After 3 months, it was discouraging not see more of our tasks checked off the list. It’s important to realize that ADHD people fight discouragement. And, after all, a task list that doesn’t move is not a good thing for any of us.
Life is hard, be real, show grace.
Time for grace and mercy. I am only one woman, he one man. We have limits, are battle weary. We demand a day of rest, maybe two. Weekly, preferred.
So, when it comes to monthly & yearly planning, do whatever is going to help you. If making grand goals is your jam, do it. But if it gives you a headache, leave it off.
Extend grace to others
As the spouse without ADHD, I do the planning in my family. The planning reminds me of what we need to do. Then I bring it to Mr. Wonderful’s attention. After that we decide how we will get it done.
I do not ask Mr. Wonderful to sit down and plan with me. And Mr. Wonderful relies on me to keep him in good standing.
Why I don’t plan way ahead.
Things change quickly when you live with ADHD. But as a Christian, I find it works much better to plan my months gently and plan my days after spending time with my LORD. Matthew 6: 34, LITV, says “Then do not be anxious for tomorrow. For the morrow will be anxious of itself. Sufficient to each day is its own trouble.”
I hear take life one day at a time, get all you can out of that one day. Go to bed sufficiently tired. Rest soundly. So, you can rise, ready to take on another day.
Hello Readers, it’s late November as I write. It’s cooling off in Florida! Our high today is 66 F degrees. One thing we know, if it gets chilly in Florida, the rest of the country as very likely cooled off too. Welcome to Fall! We have heard it will be a warm winter, yuck. But then we heard December is going to cool off. That’s the weather men for you. Here in our locale, we are at the tip of everyone’s weather radar. On a good day they have 75% accuracy in forecasting our weather. Right now, somebody’s radar is down, so accuracy is down to 45%. This is nothing new for my home county. I was born here. And grew up here. I learned to read the sky, just as my children did. The good news is that it looks like the 2024 Hurricane Season is going to close quietly! That is good news for the Southeast and the Northeast too! Remember to keep those still working to recover from the recent storms in your prayers.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
2 favorite verses about thanksgiving
2 Corinthians 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Having ADHD is hard on your self image. In raising my own children kind words were the order of the day. My grandfather was Benjamin Harrison Gadd, he was born in 1889 in North Carolina. I am told he had an adage for every situation. My mother left home with a few of them in her pocket. One was often heard in my childhood home and my children’s childhood home too. It was simply, “If you can’t say anything kind, don’t say anything at all.” Now that my grandchildren are growing up and society in general has become more diabolic. I find that our meaning behind our kind words needs to be checked.
Let me set this up for us. I have a granddaughter who is 9 and in 4th grade. She has ADHD and takes medication to help her focus. She is not especially big for her age, but is not petite either. She is trim. Now she is hearing remarks about her size at school. All children are perceptive. All children are looking for approval, they are constantly measuring themselves by our words. Children with ADHD have the added burden of hearing bad remarks on repeat in their minds.
So, my granddaughter is walking back to class, as she was told to do, when a school employee stops her. The employee tells my gd she is going the wrong way, that the 4th grade classes are down this way. Yes, my gd says, I am in 4th grade, this is my teacher, this is my room number. Oh, okay, the employee says. As my gd walks away she hears the employee say “she’s too small to be in 4th grade”. My gd carried this remark all day and told her mother about it that night.
There is nothing inherently unkind with the conversation. But let’s pause and listen to ourselves from the other persons perspective. We might need to do some deep searching, some hard praying to get to the bottom of our motives. A revival of spirit and soul may be our reward. If nothing else happens let us collectively resolve that we will not talk about children’s size, looks, or even eye color anymore! We will say “that top looks good on you.” “Your new haircut is very chic.” ” Your ponytail is becoming.” Let’s give true compliments.
Paul wrote to the Ephesians to only use uplifting, edifying words. Words that would encourage and carry grace to the hearer. He advises that we leave behind bitterness, wrath, anger, tumult, evil speaking, and anything said with malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Read it for yourself in Ephesians 4: 29-32. Paul even says that choosing not to use kind, edifying words of grace would quench (dry up) the Holy Spirit. Dear Reader, our words are a serious matter in the courts of heaven.
Let’s pray.
Dear Heavenly Father, we bless You for giving up Your Son to die for our sin. Your love is so vast, so expansive, Lord. We would be lost without You. So, we simply say Thank You! O Lord, make us mindful of our words. Give us a heart of love toward one another. As we read Your Word flood our spirit with Your love. Give us ears to hear our own words, to measure them against Yours. Guide us through this day, help us to speak words of kindness, comfort, and encouragement. In Jesus name, Amen.
(This will be a work in progress. Check back to see more. If you don’t see your #1 reason, let me know in the comments below. Working together there’s no telling how far we will go.)
1. You can’t find the off switch for your daily struggles. It’s effecting your sleep and stealing your joy.
You need Jesus. He is big enough to shoulder all your burdens. He says in His Word. “My yoke is easy, My burden is light” – Matthew 11:30 -. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus invites you and me to take His yoke upon us and learn of Him…and promises that we will find rest in our souls in Jesus!
Come to Me, all those laboring and being burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 from Green’s Literal Translation
Vocabulary time. Yoke – traditionally it is a heavy piece of equipment used to hold 2 oxen, or mules together, so as to encourage teamwork. Ideally, the ox would be matched up so neither pulled harder than the other, or one was more of a leader, the second more of a follower. The goal was a smooth pull, not a tug-of-war. Yoke – biblically it shows a joining up of two separate groups of people to work as one. It wasn’t always an equal match, it was often one country (usually the children of Isreal) being put into servanthood for another foreign, other god worshiping, country. With Jesus the yoke is a picture of Him working with us as we help Him to get the work completed.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from
Me, because I am meek and lowly in
heart and you will find rest to your souls.
Matthew 11:29 from Green’s Literal Translation
2. You feel like you’re not enough.
Well, you’re right. None of us is enough. If we were enough, it would be a cold, stark world with little love. God created us to need one another, to need Him. Because when we come to the cross, confess our sins, open our hearts door to Jesus – then Jesus makes us enough!! It’s that wonderful?! Once we have Jesus on board, He will give us comfort and strengthen us to meet the day head on. Jesus goes before us arranging all the interactions in our day. Jesus protects us from every side.
This doesn’t mean you will have no problems anymore. Problems are part of life on earth. It means Jesus will be right there with you in the midst of your problem. When you become overwhelmed you say, “Jesus help me” and He’s there, giving the assistance that will best help you. At the end of the day, you can think back over the events, and you will begin to see where and how the Lord helped you through your day.
3. Life is hard and sometimes cruel. You begin every day with trepidations. You really just want to crawl into a cave and never come out.
You really need Jesus. Fresh mercy every morning, along with the truth that we can’t outrun His love. His love fuels our love and when we walk in love, the whole world begins to look brighter. Jesus is there for us. Every day, every trial, every scary moment. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that His grace is sufficient. He has enough grace to make up for where we are short. First, accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. Second, begin each day by putting it in His hands. He is faithful, He will meet you where you are! He will make up the difference where you are lacking.
And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness”. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Paul speaking in 2 Corinthians 12:9, King James Version
4. You need Jesus, not a word of the year!
What is this word of the year? It’s really bugged me for a year or two. At first I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. Then I did some reading up on it, looked into it, ya know, is this for me? So, what did I learn? It’s a lot of work trying to figure out where you are, what you’re feeling, what’s your weakness? I mean, who really wants to do all that work? And what do you get in the end? A word? what? really! Just a word. And this word is supposed to zoom my mind back into focus. I call this wishful thinking. Do you want something substantial to focus on? Try Jesus! Focus on Him, that is really worth your time. And I promise you will feel uplifted, encouraged, even energized when you focus on Jesus.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, He according to His great mercy having regenerated us to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and unfading, having been kept in Heaven for you – the ones in the power of God being guarded through faith to salvation ready to be revealed in the last time;
1 Peter 1:3-5 – Green’s Literal Translation
Focus on Jesus. That is worth your time. You are building a relationship with the One True God of all. This most vital relationship is all you need to stay the course and keep your focus.
#5 You have ADHD? You NEED Jesus!
Okay, getting real here. This is the nitty gritty of my life, in May it will be 38 years of living with ADHD. I used to joke with my children, that ADHD is contagious – but it’s no joke! It’s true! The habits of the people we live with rub off on us. Especially if you love the other person. So, I am speaking from experience here, you NEED Jesus! Jesus is the only one who accepts us, uglies and all. Jesus is the only one who laughs with us, not at us. Jesus is the one who CAN keep up with All. The. Things. we forget. Jesus invites us to throw it all on Him. He says, give it to me! I will carry you! I will be the giver of all the good things. All we have to do is receive, say thank you, I love you, and give Jesus a big smile. This is serious. Think about it. Do you want to travel alone through live with your ADHD burden? Or would you like company, that helps, and holds, and says, I got this! Personally, I am so glad I walk with Jesus. He’s got my life!
#6 You have no purpose.
Jesus will give you purpose! I taught my children this, all Jesus wants from us is to say thank you, walk with me, You’re the best! All Jesus wants from us is a relationship. Know Me, He says, I am your God.
Psalm 46:10 – King James Version
Be still and know that I am God!
I will be exalted among the heathen,
I will be exalted in the earth.
So, in all your doing, and striving, and trying this year; stop, be still and sense God with You. Build a relationship with Jesus. Find a Bible and read the book of John first. Go find the app, Quick Bible, download it, read John. Reading the Bible is how we build a relationship with Jesus. His Word helps us to understand who He is. You will just be starting on this journey of knowing Jesus when you wake up realizing you have a purpose!
#7 Life isn’t working
If you are at the spot where no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to help, you need Jesus. Jesus accepts our pitiful efforts to fix our lives and makes life better. He takes our weakness and throws his strength into it, and we have victory! Victory in Jesus! Maybe you know Jesus. Maybe you’ve been ignoring Him? Come back! Jesus says that all of heaven rejoices when one lost sheep is returned to the fold. Come back and listen to heaven rejoice. Jesus is a burden lifter. He opens doors and brings good into our lives. I am not saying He will bring ease & laziness into your life. You will still need to work, but you will want to work, you will see a purpose to your work.
O victory in Jesus, My Savior, forever. He sought me and bought me With His redeeming blood. He loved me ere I knew Him And all my love is due Him, He plunged me to victory, Beneath the cleansing flood.
The Holidays have arrived. Ready or not, It’s November. Thanksgiving Day is just over 2 weeks away. I heard there are only 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Is that true? Let me check. NO! It’s not true! There are 4 solid weeks between the two. Christmas is on Wednesday this year. But you know that, plans have been in the works since September, am I right? Well, it’s no different at Avon headquarters – although they probably start in March.
Holiday Memory Pewter Ornament
But the exciting news is we can now, right now! Shop the holiday items! Avon has Christmas decorations, even ornaments for your tree. They have jewelry in red, white & green! Then the gift ideas galore. Avon prepares gift sets, 2 or 3 items packaged in their own gift bags. Gift wrapping is not always necessary with these gift sets.
The Farm Fresh Tree Shop
a tabletop decoration that plays 8 holiday tunes, lights up too! needs 3 AAA batteries
Jingle Ornament Charm Necklace
The Organist Apple Cider Vinegar hair gift set comes with a set of 5 gift bags!
this is the 3-piece set that you can get for $34.99 when you make a $15 purchase at the same time.
The Weekender Tote is a good size roomy bag with a zippered bottom. It’s really cool. The bottom of the bag unzips on 3 sides. It’s roomy enough to hold 2 pairs of shoes (of average size). It really is a weekend tote or one really roomy diaper bag! It comes in black. The cost of the tote alone is $49.99. The deal is $34.99 with a $15 purchase from the brochure. With the deal you will also receive one Anew Platinum Day Cream Broad Spectrum SPF 25, and one Isa Knox Anew Clinical Collagen Booster Firming Cream. So, you’re going to get the weekend tote and 2 full size products for $34.99 with your $15 brochure purchase. This is the loss leader right now. If you bought these 3 products separately, they would total $136.99.
Friends, there is so much new stuff at Avon right now. I couldn’t possibly write about it all in this one bulletin. You need a break in your day. Get a cup of refreshment and give yourself a few minutes to browse my Avon shop. It will get your creative mind working. So come check us out! @ Diane’s Boutique. DIANE BURKE's Avon Online Store
This is the time of year Avon is coming out with all kinds of new products. The focus right now is on clean, organic products with packaging that doesn’t put stress on us or the earth.
