Welcome to Fresh Mercy Every Morning

Category: Home Life with ADHD

What is there to say. It might get a little hairy from time to time. but that’s okay. It all comes back to love.

  • Small Changes Big Relief: Conguring Daily Frustrations

    This morning as I struggled to get a lid off it’s container, I thought about stress. Little stresses that sneak into our days. Like that lid. Or that item we struggle to reach every day. Or the dog barking down the street.

    These little overlooked stresses are bad. They are like background noises we never notice or just accept. But we can change this. We can improve and smooth out our daily environment.

    First. Take time to notice them. Identify the culprits. How do you feel stress? My brow wrinkles when I get stressed – both ways, horizontal and vertical. Your head may hurt or your shoulders tighten up.

    Notice what stresses you and change it!

    Move the item used daily to a more prominent spot, easier to reach. Group the daily items together. Smooth out the flow of your daily activities. Maybe declutter a bit so you have room for your daily items. Think to the future; will the item be easy to retrieve from here?

    These stressors are the worst. They fly under the radar, unnoticed tiny points of stress popping up in our days, messing up our calm demeanor.

    Second. Our mindset may need to shift. We may not be able to change every stress. Like the dog barking, there’s something to be said for accepting our life as it is. Still, we must be alert to use action where and when we can.

    It may help to batch small tasks. Maybe just face off with these inconveniences and untangle the mess.

    Use humor. Laughing is a great way to dispell stress and see a task completed. Maybe that dog is having a bad day too.

    Keep your perspective sharp. Focus in and zoom out. Just how bad is it?

    Small steps can make big changes.

    Third. Remember it’s about the small changes we make to our environment and our mind set that add up to big stress relief. So, when time allows, notice what stresses you and change it up!

    Here’s to stamping out stress, smoothing out our days, being thankful and proactive.

  • Recalibrating Life, what does it look like?

    Being an introvert, I can get too much people, activity, and busyness in my life. I am a wall flower, I wear that badge, even a homebody.

    In May of this year, we will celebrate 38 years of wedded wildness. And it has been a wild ride, racing from one activity to another. When our children were young, I was known to lament that I wanted the merry-go-round to stop so I could get off! I found myself feeling that way again a few weeks back. And so, I decided-to get off. We are all adults. Take care of yourself. Moms not available. I wish it was that simple.

    Nonetheless, I have been sneaking in quiet times for reflection. And so far, my recalibration has been going pretty well. I have learned I can stop this merry-go-round whenever I need to; I can take a pass on some activities, stay home alone, and be better for it.

    Starting with the mornings, try to slow down and breathe.

    And I have learned more about myself, like how much I like a schedule. And I want to keep the schedule, thank you just the same. I had to explain this to Mr. B. We had a fair exchange of information; I learned new things too.

    Maybe you are also feeling the need to step back and find yourself again. We non-ADHD-ers can be exhausted by the sheer force of energy exuding from our hyperactive loved one(s).

    Honor yourself! Don’t wait for someone else to notice you need a rest. Go ahead and trot your tired self off for a much-needed quiet time.

    It is vital to stay true to ourselves. We can only run so far in daily life on someone else’s music. At first, it’s a novelty and even fun. But then, the fun starts wearing off, and we start to flat-line because we aren’t getting what we need to live happily. Life is full of give and take. No one gets to have it all. We need to remind each other that it’s okay to pull back, take a break, take a nap!

    And it might be time to reassess how much of an activity has to be done today. How small can you break a task down? I mean how small can you make it and still know you accomplished something? For instance, I am cleaning out the fridge. This week I cleaned the inside of the fridge door, wiped the bottles, wiped the shelving, checked dates and tossed a 4-year-old bottle of lemon juice. How? How does this stuff get forgotten? Life, that’s how.

    Life happens at the speed of, well, life. There are real seasons of life when cleaning the fridge isn’t a high priority. Those seasons when cleaning the fridge means wiping up spills when they happen. Done. Over it. And we move on.

    Move in the season of life you are in. I promise you it will not always be like this. Our children grow up. Our bodies change. Our work life changes. Life rolls on. Everything changes. And we are doing really good if we can realize the season is changing and start working into that new way of living.

    I’m cheering you on. You do you. Me do me. And shine brightly in your world. Even as introverts we can shine brightly. I inherited a really nice smile from my mom, my grandmother, and so on. I’m happy to share it. That’s me shining brightly. I have a sister who has a really sweet laugh, it’s a joyful laugh, she shares it lavishly. That’s her shining brightly. You do you!

  • Short read – big tip- check out this podcast!

    I have found a podcast called – Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast. I found it on Spotify. This podcast is reminding me of all the things about Mr. B I had forgotten! Good or Bad? Remember I said forgiveness is needed when you live with an ADHD person?

    Hence, I carry 2 weapons with me every day; forgiveness is one and grace is the second. lf I ever feel stingy with either one of these, my Heavenly Father is right there ready to remind me of my own short comings. Besides, I’m truly in love with Mr. B. He’s my best friend, my lover, my companion in life. And Mr. B feels the same way toward me. We get each other. And we both know I don’t behave well when I am short on sleep, hungry, or stressed. So, this forgiveness and grace works both ways.

  • Drowning in ADHD

    If you live with an ADHD person, you know what I mean! Everywhere I go, read, listen, I’m hearing the same message: Get your life in order, set your priorities, say no and mean it; all so you can do what you want, spend time with your family. STOP! What if all I’m doing is spending time with my family? Arg! These messages we are force-fed non-stop, where is the OFF button?

    Cue the podcasts, if it’s not encouraging, it’s off the list. Cue the email, ditto. I can’t decide which is worse. The emails that want to sell you this and that, you need this, don’t you? NO! Or is it the emails that want to pitch the latest solution to a problem you surely have. Culling unencouraging, unhelpful, mind numbing everywhere I find it, that’s where I am.

    Whenever I figure out how to set an email up on my blog site I will endeavor to send emails with encouragement, maybe a laugh, maybe a helpful suggestion.

    Back to my main point. I am finding my thoughts splintering into 5 thoughts. One day I ask my husband to try to number the thoughts he was thinking. He got to 12 and said, that’s what he could identify as not being a repeat. Well, I’m not there. But I am feeling the effects. What can we do to calm our minds?

    Suggestions are freely offered. Take them if you can use them, leave them if you can’t.

    + Switch to listening to instrumental music, fewer words to distract.

    + Take up or go back to reading. I recommend a book in hand. Don’t we get enough screens in our day?

    +Take a walk. Breath in fresh air. Smell the roses.

    + Sit outside. Listen to the birds sing. Feel the sun warm you up.

    + Help someone. Sometimes the best way to get out of our heads is to help someone else.

    + This is a big one. A hard one too. Do one (1) thing at a time. It may take a lot of tries, but don’t give up. We can get there. And we will be in a better spot when we do.

    + Stand up and move forward. We all need to move more. You can find lots of useful information for adding movement to your day,

    + Visit the local library.

    + Play games – board, card, or puzzles with your family, your friends, your neighbor, or just by yourself. (Mr. B doesn’t like games)

    + Open windows this spring and refresh our lungs and the house.

    Have I got you thinking? Pick one and start distancing yourself from the screens, and all the mind-numbing admonishments.

    My month of life recalibration begins week 2 today. Stay tuned!

    Life Recalibration

  • Coming to the Last Hooray

    Don’t ask me how it happened. I was not in control. But life is often full to the brim. And that is where we find ourselves every fall. About Columbus Day we start celebrating every 3 to 4 weeks until St. Patrick Day. Remember 2024 when we had Easter jammed into March? My head was spinning. Too much, too, too much. By Good Sunday I was done. No more celebrating for me.

    Wait, I lost myself there, we’re celebrating birthday, holiday, birthday, holiday, birthday, birthday, holiday. You get now. So, every year I am hanging on for that last birthday, then I crash. Done. Breathe. Check for broken bones. Now we pick up and get ready for another run. I tell you; it never truly stops in this ADHD home of mine.

    I am 10 days away from the last birthday. Basically, I decided in early February, it was time for a recalibration of my life. Consequently, I am sneaking in little reminders that it’s time to stop, and rethink how I do everything. Do you, dear reader, every reach a point where enough is enough? And the only help is to step away and rethink it all?

    Well, that’s where I am right now. Here we are on the cusp of March, for me March is the week between Christmas and New Year. During this month I will work like a busy beaver to set up a better working system to help me track all. the. things! Lord willing, by April 1 I will have all systems go, in order, and working. Stay tuned for an update.

    Peaceful little lamb reminding me to breathe

  • Do you want to slow the speed of life?

    Do you want to slow the speed of life?

    My weekly planning has become more intentional as time goes by and I learn more about myself. Planning my week is key to reducing overwhelming as Tuesday suddenly becomes Friday afternoon. Knowing what to expect at the beginning of the week makes everything more manageable. So then, you want to work towards getting all your weekly activities written down in your preferred reference point. If you don’t have a preferred reference point yet, grab a notebook and begin keeping all your information in that notebook.

    Take some quiet time away to really give yourself time to note everything you need to do in a week. Everything you need to prepare for. 0r prepare someone else for. Everything you are responsible for goes on your list.

    Making this list takes time. You might work on it for a week, 10 minutes a day. Or maybe you have a clear vision of your week and can list it all in 15 minutes. Once you have created your list it is pretty easy to start categorizing each event into days. And then, suddenly, you know where your hardest, busiest day or days will be. Next you want to plug in some preparation ahead of that day. Be kind to yourself. Do not leave everything for that busy day. Try to think through your busy day. You might make a list of the day’s events. Start with “I get out of bed”. And end with “I fall back into bed”. As you create this schedule list you will begin to see things you can do a few days ahead to help ease you through your busy day.

    A short list of things to start your weekly list
    • Appointments
    • All time restricted events
    • meals – times, places, and menus
    • chores, tasks, homework

    To make your planning easier, after a few weeks you can create a master list. This is a list of activities you do every week. With a master list as a starting point, you simply plug in special activities, like birthdays and holidays, seasonal events, you get the idea.

    Are you waiting for a normal week? – Welcome to Fresh Mercy Every Morning

    Having the skeleton of your weeks mapped out really gives you a handle on your time. You will soon find a rhythm to your weeks and days. Remember, it’s your life, so do what helps you the most. With your plans laid out in front of you, you can begin tweaking activities to suit your energy, mood, and overload feeling, better. So, here’s to you calling the shots in your week.

    New Idea to Try Out

    I have just learned of a slick idea for tracking our ever-loving to-do list. (I don’t remember my parents having to-do list) Here are the ideas in short form. Label your list “this week”, “next week”, and “everything else”. Begin an “ongoing brain dump” just to keep your brain freed up for space to think. You can also call it an “all the things” list. update 1/7/25

    Are y’all hearing/reading about our short memory? I’ve heard it a few times this past week. Bits like “write it down, your brain isn’t for storage”. And then I read that short memory space is only able to hold 2 or 3 thoughts at a time. So, write it down! Designate a spot to keep your thoughts and ideas written. If you only have one spot then you will know where to go to find your list! I use Trello and a planner. Trello is on my phone, which counts my steps, so it’s always with me.

    Honestly I have no memory of my parents keeping to do list. They certainly didn’t spend much time thinking up a to-do list. Personally, I suspect they operated on a if-you-see-it-do-it process. They picked up behind themselves before they moved on. Set up the work bench to start again tomorrow. My parents worked for themselves. Successfully. They relied on God with steadfast faith that He would see them through, and He did.