At the beginning, or the end, of each month I do a precursory plan for the month ahead. I simply add birthdays, business deadlines, and holidays we celebrate on a monthly calendar page I create on Canva. And this page becomes the cover of my planner binder.
Planning with ADHD is very hard. It’s hard to nail down those thoughts. Or sort them out from all the others racing around. We rely a lot more on routines and habits than plans. My goal with the monthly calendar is to remind me of what’s ahead, so I don’t forget something important. Like a sister’s birthday! This is a bigger chore for me than them since I am the youngest.
No year planning
I don’t go into planning my year either. For the same reasons, ADHD. One year I tried to plan by the quarters. So, I said to Mr. Wonderful, “we have a cool weather quarter here, what do we want to get done?” So, we brainstormed and came up with a page long list of tasks and projects. And we picked the most urgent & important item on the list and dug in. Three months later we were still working on that one project. Mind you, we took it as far as we could. But that was all we got done. After 3 months, it was discouraging not see more of our tasks checked off the list. It’s important to realize that ADHD people fight discouragement. And, after all, a task list that doesn’t move is not a good thing for any of us.
Life is hard, be real, show grace.
Time for grace and mercy. I am only one woman, he one man. We have limits, are battle weary. We demand a day of rest, maybe two. Weekly, preferred.
So, when it comes to monthly & yearly planning, do whatever is going to help you. If making grand goals is your jam, do it. But if it gives you a headache, leave it off.
Extend grace to others
As the spouse without ADHD, I do the planning in my family. The planning reminds me of what we need to do. Then I bring it to Mr. Wonderful’s attention. After that we decide how we will get it done.
I do not ask Mr. Wonderful to sit down and plan with me. And Mr. Wonderful relies on me to keep him in good standing.
Why I don’t plan way ahead.
Things change quickly when you live with ADHD. But as a Christian, I find it works much better to plan my months gently and plan my days after spending time with my LORD. Matthew 6: 34, LITV, says “Then do not be anxious for tomorrow. For the morrow will be anxious of itself. Sufficient to each day is its own trouble.”
I hear take life one day at a time, get all you can out of that one day. Go to bed sufficiently tired. Rest soundly. So, you can rise, ready to take on another day.
Hello Readers, it’s late November as I write. It’s cooling off in Florida! Our high today is 66 F degrees. One thing we know, if it gets chilly in Florida, the rest of the country as very likely cooled off too. Welcome to Fall! We have heard it will be a warm winter, yuck. But then we heard December is going to cool off. That’s the weather men for you. Here in our locale, we are at the tip of everyone’s weather radar. On a good day they have 75% accuracy in forecasting our weather. Right now, somebody’s radar is down, so accuracy is down to 45%. This is nothing new for my home county. I was born here. And grew up here. I learned to read the sky, just as my children did. The good news is that it looks like the 2024 Hurricane Season is going to close quietly! That is good news for the Southeast and the Northeast too! Remember to keep those still working to recover from the recent storms in your prayers.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
2 favorite verses about thanksgiving
2 Corinthians 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Having ADHD is hard on your self image. In raising my own children kind words were the order of the day. My grandfather was Benjamin Harrison Gadd, he was born in 1889 in North Carolina. I am told he had an adage for every situation. My mother left home with a few of them in her pocket. One was often heard in my childhood home and my children’s childhood home too. It was simply, “If you can’t say anything kind, don’t say anything at all.” Now that my grandchildren are growing up and society in general has become more diabolic. I find that our meaning behind our kind words needs to be checked.
Let me set this up for us. I have a granddaughter who is 9 and in 4th grade. She has ADHD and takes medication to help her focus. She is not especially big for her age, but is not petite either. She is trim. Now she is hearing remarks about her size at school. All children are perceptive. All children are looking for approval, they are constantly measuring themselves by our words. Children with ADHD have the added burden of hearing bad remarks on repeat in their minds.
So, my granddaughter is walking back to class, as she was told to do, when a school employee stops her. The employee tells my gd she is going the wrong way, that the 4th grade classes are down this way. Yes, my gd says, I am in 4th grade, this is my teacher, this is my room number. Oh, okay, the employee says. As my gd walks away she hears the employee say “she’s too small to be in 4th grade”. My gd carried this remark all day and told her mother about it that night.
There is nothing inherently unkind with the conversation. But let’s pause and listen to ourselves from the other persons perspective. We might need to do some deep searching, some hard praying to get to the bottom of our motives. A revival of spirit and soul may be our reward. If nothing else happens let us collectively resolve that we will not talk about children’s size, looks, or even eye color anymore! We will say “that top looks good on you.” “Your new haircut is very chic.” ” Your ponytail is becoming.” Let’s give true compliments.
Paul wrote to the Ephesians to only use uplifting, edifying words. Words that would encourage and carry grace to the hearer. He advises that we leave behind bitterness, wrath, anger, tumult, evil speaking, and anything said with malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Read it for yourself in Ephesians 4: 29-32. Paul even says that choosing not to use kind, edifying words of grace would quench (dry up) the Holy Spirit. Dear Reader, our words are a serious matter in the courts of heaven.
Let’s pray.
Dear Heavenly Father, we bless You for giving up Your Son to die for our sin. Your love is so vast, so expansive, Lord. We would be lost without You. So, we simply say Thank You! O Lord, make us mindful of our words. Give us a heart of love toward one another. As we read Your Word flood our spirit with Your love. Give us ears to hear our own words, to measure them against Yours. Guide us through this day, help us to speak words of kindness, comfort, and encouragement. In Jesus name, Amen.
(This will be a work in progress. Check back to see more. If you don’t see your #1 reason, let me know in the comments below. Working together there’s no telling how far we will go.)
1. You can’t find the off switch for your daily struggles. It’s effecting your sleep and stealing your joy.
You need Jesus. He is big enough to shoulder all your burdens. He says in His Word. “My yoke is easy, My burden is light” – Matthew 11:30 -. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus invites you and me to take His yoke upon us and learn of Him…and promises that we will find rest in our souls in Jesus!
Come to Me, all those laboring and being burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 from Green’s Literal Translation
Vocabulary time. Yoke – traditionally it is a heavy piece of equipment used to hold 2 oxen, or mules together, so as to encourage teamwork. Ideally, the ox would be matched up so neither pulled harder than the other, or one was more of a leader, the second more of a follower. The goal was a smooth pull, not a tug-of-war. Yoke – biblically it shows a joining up of two separate groups of people to work as one. It wasn’t always an equal match, it was often one country (usually the children of Isreal) being put into servanthood for another foreign, other god worshiping, country. With Jesus the yoke is a picture of Him working with us as we help Him to get the work completed.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from
Me, because I am meek and lowly in
heart and you will find rest to your souls.
Matthew 11:29 from Green’s Literal Translation
2. You feel like you’re not enough.
Well, you’re right. None of us is enough. If we were enough, it would be a cold, stark world with little love. God created us to need one another, to need Him. Because when we come to the cross, confess our sins, open our hearts door to Jesus – then Jesus makes us enough!! It’s that wonderful?! Once we have Jesus on board, He will give us comfort and strengthen us to meet the day head on. Jesus goes before us arranging all the interactions in our day. Jesus protects us from every side.
This doesn’t mean you will have no problems anymore. Problems are part of life on earth. It means Jesus will be right there with you in the midst of your problem. When you become overwhelmed you say, “Jesus help me” and He’s there, giving the assistance that will best help you. At the end of the day, you can think back over the events, and you will begin to see where and how the Lord helped you through your day.
3. Life is hard and sometimes cruel. You begin every day with trepidations. You really just want to crawl into a cave and never come out.
You really need Jesus. Fresh mercy every morning, along with the truth that we can’t outrun His love. His love fuels our love and when we walk in love, the whole world begins to look brighter. Jesus is there for us. Every day, every trial, every scary moment. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that His grace is sufficient. He has enough grace to make up for where we are short. First, accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. Second, begin each day by putting it in His hands. He is faithful, He will meet you where you are! He will make up the difference where you are lacking.
And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness”. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Paul speaking in 2 Corinthians 12:9, King James Version
4. You need Jesus, not a word of the year!
What is this word of the year? It’s really bugged me for a year or two. At first I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. Then I did some reading up on it, looked into it, ya know, is this for me? So, what did I learn? It’s a lot of work trying to figure out where you are, what you’re feeling, what’s your weakness? I mean, who really wants to do all that work? And what do you get in the end? A word? what? really! Just a word. And this word is supposed to zoom my mind back into focus. I call this wishful thinking. Do you want something substantial to focus on? Try Jesus! Focus on Him, that is really worth your time. And I promise you will feel uplifted, encouraged, even energized when you focus on Jesus.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, He according to His great mercy having regenerated us to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and unfading, having been kept in Heaven for you – the ones in the power of God being guarded through faith to salvation ready to be revealed in the last time;
1 Peter 1:3-5 – Green’s Literal Translation
Focus on Jesus. That is worth your time. You are building a relationship with the One True God of all. This most vital relationship is all you need to stay the course and keep your focus.
#5 You have ADHD? You NEED Jesus!
Okay, getting real here. This is the nitty gritty of my life, in May it will be 38 years of living with ADHD. I used to joke with my children, that ADHD is contagious – but it’s no joke! It’s true! The habits of the people we live with rub off on us. Especially if you love the other person. So, I am speaking from experience here, you NEED Jesus! Jesus is the only one who accepts us, uglies and all. Jesus is the only one who laughs with us, not at us. Jesus is the one who CAN keep up with All. The. Things. we forget. Jesus invites us to throw it all on Him. He says, give it to me! I will carry you! I will be the giver of all the good things. All we have to do is receive, say thank you, I love you, and give Jesus a big smile. This is serious. Think about it. Do you want to travel alone through live with your ADHD burden? Or would you like company, that helps, and holds, and says, I got this! Personally, I am so glad I walk with Jesus. He’s got my life!
#6 You have no purpose.
Jesus will give you purpose! I taught my children this, all Jesus wants from us is to say thank you, walk with me, You’re the best! All Jesus wants from us is a relationship. Know Me, He says, I am your God.
Psalm 46:10 – King James Version
Be still and know that I am God!
I will be exalted among the heathen,
I will be exalted in the earth.
So, in all your doing, and striving, and trying this year; stop, be still and sense God with You. Build a relationship with Jesus. Find a Bible and read the book of John first. Go find the app, Quick Bible, download it, read John. Reading the Bible is how we build a relationship with Jesus. His Word helps us to understand who He is. You will just be starting on this journey of knowing Jesus when you wake up realizing you have a purpose!
#7 Life isn’t working
If you are at the spot where no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to help, you need Jesus. Jesus accepts our pitiful efforts to fix our lives and makes life better. He takes our weakness and throws his strength into it, and we have victory! Victory in Jesus! Maybe you know Jesus. Maybe you’ve been ignoring Him? Come back! Jesus says that all of heaven rejoices when one lost sheep is returned to the fold. Come back and listen to heaven rejoice. Jesus is a burden lifter. He opens doors and brings good into our lives. I am not saying He will bring ease & laziness into your life. You will still need to work, but you will want to work, you will see a purpose to your work.
O victory in Jesus, My Savior, forever. He sought me and bought me With His redeeming blood. He loved me ere I knew Him And all my love is due Him, He plunged me to victory, Beneath the cleansing flood.
The Holidays have arrived. Ready or not, It’s November. Thanksgiving Day is just over 2 weeks away. I heard there are only 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Is that true? Let me check. NO! It’s not true! There are 4 solid weeks between the two. Christmas is on Wednesday this year. But you know that, plans have been in the works since September, am I right? Well, it’s no different at Avon headquarters – although they probably start in March.
Holiday Memory Pewter Ornament
But the exciting news is we can now, right now! Shop the holiday items! Avon has Christmas decorations, even ornaments for your tree. They have jewelry in red, white & green! Then the gift ideas galore. Avon prepares gift sets, 2 or 3 items packaged in their own gift bags. Gift wrapping is not always necessary with these gift sets.
The Farm Fresh Tree Shop
a tabletop decoration that plays 8 holiday tunes, lights up too! needs 3 AAA batteries
Jingle Ornament Charm Necklace
The Organist Apple Cider Vinegar hair gift set comes with a set of 5 gift bags!
this is the 3-piece set that you can get for $34.99 when you make a $15 purchase at the same time.
The Weekender Tote is a good size roomy bag with a zippered bottom. It’s really cool. The bottom of the bag unzips on 3 sides. It’s roomy enough to hold 2 pairs of shoes (of average size). It really is a weekend tote or one really roomy diaper bag! It comes in black. The cost of the tote alone is $49.99. The deal is $34.99 with a $15 purchase from the brochure. With the deal you will also receive one Anew Platinum Day Cream Broad Spectrum SPF 25, and one Isa Knox Anew Clinical Collagen Booster Firming Cream. So, you’re going to get the weekend tote and 2 full size products for $34.99 with your $15 brochure purchase. This is the loss leader right now. If you bought these 3 products separately, they would total $136.99.
Friends, there is so much new stuff at Avon right now. I couldn’t possibly write about it all in this one bulletin. You need a break in your day. Get a cup of refreshment and give yourself a few minutes to browse my Avon shop. It will get your creative mind working. So come check us out! @ Diane’s Boutique. DIANE BURKE's Avon Online Store
This is the time of year Avon is coming out with all kinds of new products. The focus right now is on clean, organic products with packaging that doesn’t put stress on us or the earth.
Comparison, Am I Normal? is bad, it’s a dirty word. Thinking in the vein of – Am I normal – is a trap that leads to depression. If you have ADHD that path to depression is incredibly short. It’s not really a path, more like stepping through a doorway and you’re there — Depressed! In that light we can call comparison the door. This door should remain closed. It hides a very ugly room.
What’s so ugly about the comparison to normal? Being normal has a nasty habit of always putting you and your loved ones in an unfavorable light. How would you feel if the family photographer was always cutting your head out of the pictures they took. You would constantly see your body as it is without the beauty of your smile or the light in your eyes. That’s just what thinking “am I normal” does! You are cutting all the beauty & light out of the picture, leaving only starkness.
When our oldest children had reached 5th & 7th grade, they began coming home with talk of Normal. They were coming to the realization that with ADHD they were different. My response was – let me give it to you straight – “Comparison is not your friend. It will kick you when you’re down. It will turn its back on you when you need a hand getting up. Comparison is Satan’s agent. It is hollow, cold, and cloaked in darkness. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it is the goodness of God. It is not. It will pull the rug out from under you and laugh out loud when your bum hits the floor. Then came my motto: You will NEVER come out on top when you grapple with comparing yourself to others.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
Comparison, or seeking to be normal, is a cruel taskmaster, keeping you unsettled down to your soul. It will keep you awake when you should be sleeping, distract you from what you should be doing. It likes to steal all the joy out of your days. It can even immobilize a person by creating great fear in their soul, so much so that they refuse to go out. Comparison is crippling. It gives no relief; it hangs on with a death grip. You want to shake it off. You may even think you have shaken it off, but then you turn a corner and there it is again. Have you had enough? Are you ready for fresh air and sunshine in your days? I can help you find it.
Jesus is who you need. Jesus accepts you just as you are. Where you are, secrets and all. Jesus has a love for each one of us so vast we can’t comprehend how deep it is. Jesus has enough love for the whole world. Every single person on earth can find more than enough love in Jesus. Once you meet Him it will be much easier to let go of comparison. You will soon be leaning into the great big bear hug of Jesus. He washes away all our grief, replacing it with joy & peace. He tells us that we are enough for Him. We can relax in that knowledge. Jesus loves us just as we are. If we are lacking anything He will provide it.
