You can pick up at the beginning of my thoughts on the faithfulness of God.
Becoming a mother was an unexpected event for me. We were married 3 weeks and I was hit with heavy neasua all day. The first was born 5 weeks early. We learned I had an abnormal shaped uterus with a wall of skin growing down the middle. In effect making my uterus 3 pockets.
With the birth of this child my life sped up. Now I was living with a husband and a child’s ADHD. And the exhaustion! No one told me having a baby would exhaust you for years to come. I wasn’t just tired from busy days and interrupted nights. I felt a bone weary tiredness.
Looking back from here, where I know I’m an introvert, I know I recharge in quiet, peaceful environments, preferably alone. I understand why I was so exhausted. Other mother’s complained about always being touched, I didn’t mind that. I just needed time to think!
In all of the hustle, exhaustion, and constant doing, I lost my connection with Abba. I could not think, I could not connect 2 sentences of prayer. I would fall asleep praying. But I knew God was there, He was faithful. When fear for my children gripped my heart with cold fingers and took my breath away, I would focus then, long enough to pour it all into my Heavenly Father’s hands.
I held on. He brought me into this busy, hustling, going going bit of life. He would sustain me. He would see me through.
In 2023 I discovered prayer journaling. This helped me hold my shattered focus. Day by day I drew closer to the LORD. And soon I saw that through all those bustling years He had been there. He had been there! He doesn’t walk away from us when life gets hard. If we drift away from Him he doesn’t walk away, he doesn’t turn his back on us. He holds our spot, if you will. He calls us back to him with a gentle, coaching voice. He calls us by name.
Have you ever looked back on a difficult season and realized He was there all along?
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